The DATR NERF War of Doom!
by Monochrome Masquerade
Summary: What happens when Dib introduces Tak to the fun of NERF gun wars? Um...weirdness...and then some lovey-dovey stuff, really. Rated T for language. ONESHOT


_You guys probably want an explanation for this piece of retardation I'm uploading when I could be working on the next chapter of We All Fall Down. Well, you see, the other day I was having a NERF war with my cousin, and later on this idea popped into my head. I wanted to put more DATR out in to the community, seeing how it isn't as respected as it should be. I like the idea of Dib taking joy in a simple activity like NERF wars, and Tak liking it too (not knowing it was tyrpicly a game for people between the ages of 10 and 16). A day later, this was completed. (Oh, and don't worry. I AM working on WAFD.)_

_Control yourself,_

_Take only what you need from it,_

_A family of trees wanted,_

_To be haunted..._

_-Kids by MGMT_

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><p>"No, the engine goes in THERE, you fucking moron!"<p>

"Tak, CALM DOWN. It's not the end of the world if it takes a long time fixing your ship."

"I understand THAT, dumbass!" Tak snapped back at Dib, stalking over and snatching engine from him. "I DON'T under stand how you're so clueless all the time! Can't you just grow a goddamn brain, or SOMETHING? I can't believe I agreed to live with you, a complete- ARGH!" In the midst of her ranting, Tak dropped the part she had been holding on her toe. This would not have hurt if she was wearing the steel-toed boots of her solider protocol uniform. But, you see, that was confiscated when she was banished from the Irken Empire for failing to exterminate Zim. She was now wearing odd (but comfortable) human clothes. It's no fun dropping a large piece of metal on your toes while wearing flip-flops.

"Tak, let's, uh...just take a break," Dib said. He really did love his girlfriend, but sometimes her temper got out of control because she was raised in such a harsh environment. Ever since Tak had started her exile on Earth, he had been working on helping her not be...well, a jerk. It wasn't easy, but you gotta make sacrifices for love, am I right?

Out of Dib's large mind and back in reality, Tak nodded while massaging her throbbing foot. Dib tossed a can of soda to Tak (who had grown immune to human substances during her stay on Earth) and opened one for himself. He thought of bringing up conversation, but the frustrated look on Tak's face told him it may not be the best time. So, he just looked around the familiar interior of his garage.

It was then that he spotted a few brightly colored objects, covered in dust and cobwebs. He had bought them a long time ago just to see if Zim had a bad reaction to them, when Dib started getting desperate for ways to stop Zim. Two NERF guns, each loaded with a few foam bullets. Dib laughed a little at the thought that he really thought he could stop Zim with a couple of toy guns.

Another idea then hit him. The one or two times he had used the guns, they brought him kind joy. A simple, child like happiness that the only savior of Earth rarely felt. The only other time that he felt better was when he was...erm..._alone_ with Tak. Dib reached over and grabbed both the guns. "Hey, Tak, catch!" he said, throwing one over to her.

"What the hell's this?" she said, slight mockery in her tone. "A NERF gun," Dib answered simply. "Don't tell me it's one of you humans' pitiful, old-style weapons. What do you want to go do, beat the living daylights out of Zim for no apparent reason?" Tak said sarcastically. "It's 10:40 at night, Dib."

"No, it's not a weapon, it's a toy," Dib explained. "It works like a real gun, only the bullets are foam and aren't launched with as much power so no one gets mortally wounded." Tak studied it for a few seconds, interested. "So, I could shoot you right now, and you wouldn't give a shit?" she inquired. "Not to say I wouldn't care, but-" Dib was then broken off by two foam darts hitting the side of his head. Tak was grinning at him. "Oh, you'd better run now!" Dib joked, raising his gun. Tak let out a fake squeal of terror and ran out of the garage and into the backyard know Dib would follow her. Tak ran over to a tree, hiding behind it to scout out Dib.

"I know you're here!" Tak shouted into the darkness. "Show yourself, or face my foamy wrath!" Dib then jumped out of the tree she was standing under, shooting her in the arm. "Score one for me!" Dib laughed, turning tail and running away. Tak dashed after him, shooting his back wildly until she ran out of darts. When Dib grew tired, he turned around and fired the rest of his bullets at her. Tak fell to the ground in mock pain, dragging Dib with her. They were both a little warm and sweaty, but they hugging and giggling like they were in elementary school again.

"I didn't mean everything I said when I kinda... blew up on you earlier," Tak apologized. "It's no problem," Dib responded. "I love you enough to let it go." He then leaned in and kissed her. Tak smiled. "Thanks, babe," she said. "But, I totally love you more."

"No way."

"Yes way."

"You obviously don't know how much I love you."

"I do, alright." Tak kissed him, and Dib felt what was left of his worries and troubles vaporize. "Will you love me forever?" Tak murmured quietly. At first, Dib was shocked that she would ask him something like that. But then he remembered, she had slaved away each day for a planet that gave her nothing in return for most of her life, never having any friends, and eventually being exiled to the planet of her tormentor, Zim. She had never been loved by anyone or anything. "Forever and always," Dib whispered back, stroking her lime green face gently. He knew he wanted to stay like that with her for an eternity.

Everyone was always saying how every person has an other half, but they're unique and you may never even get to meet them before death takes you away.

Good thing Dib's "other half" literally fell from the stars.

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><p><em>I hope ya'll think this is as cute as I was aiming for. I've been wanting to use that last sentence for quite a while, because it's, well, awesome. Review, please?<em>


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